What NOT to Do During a Custody Dispute

Custody disputes can be among the most challenging and emotionally charged experiences a parent faces. At Bloom Peters, LLC, we’ve helped many clients navigate these complex situations with clarity and care. One of the most important things we emphasize to our clients is that your actions can directly impact the outcome.

While knowing your legal rights and responsibilities is critical, it’s just as important to avoid common missteps that could hurt your case—or worse, harm your relationship with your child.

Below are seven things you should never do during a custody dispute in Pennsylvania:

1. Do Not Speak Negatively About the Other Parent in Front of Your Child

No matter how tense things become, keep conflict away from your child. Our courts look closely at each parent's willingness to encourage a healthy relationship between the child and the other parent. Badmouthing your co-parent can be seen as an attempt to alienate the child—something judges do not take lightly.  In Pennsylvania, the court is required to consider, among other factors, which parent is more likely to promote the child's relationship with the other parent. 

2. Do Not Disobey a Court Order

A custody order is legally binding whether it is temporary or final. Violating it—whether by withholding visitation, arriving late, or changing arrangements without approval—can be seen as contempt of court. Always follow the order! If a change is needed, seek a legal modification through the Court.

3. Do Not Use Your Child as a Go-Between

Your child should never be the messenger. Asking your child to pass notes,  make requests for a schedule change, or deliver emotionally charged or adult information places an unfair burden on them. Keep all communication direct and adult-to-adult, preferably in writing or through a co-parenting communication platform like Our Family Wizard or AppClose.  Do not put the child in the middle.

4. Do Not Air Your Dispute on Social Media

Stay off of social media, but if you do post anything, think before you post. Complaining about your ex, discussing your case, or even sharing indirect comments online can be used as evidence in court. Posts that suggest instability, aggression, or poor judgment can damage your credibility—and your chances for custody. 

5. Do Not Lie or Conceal Information

Honesty is not optional in a custody case. Whether it involves your work schedule, income, living situation, criminal background, or parenting history, withholding or misrepresenting facts can seriously harm your case. Judges expect transparency and will question your fitness as a parent if you're caught in a lie.

6. Do Not Expose Your Child to the Legal Process

Children should be kept out of the courtroom and away from legal discussions unless specifically required by the court. Talking to your child about custody battles, asking them for input, or letting them read court documents can be emotionally harmful and seen as manipulative.

7. Do Not Lose Sight of What Matters Most

Family courts focus on the safety and the best interests of the child. Your goal should be to create a stable, nurturing, and cooperative environment—not to “win” at all costs. Showing that you are child-focused, responsible, and respectful of the other parent’s role is often more persuasive than any argument your attorney can make. Years from now your child will appreciate how you handled the custody situation under difficult circumstances.  Protect them at all costs.

At Bloom Peters, LLC, we know that custody disputes are more than legal cases—they’re deeply personal matters that affect your family’s future. The choices you make during this time can have long-term consequences. If you’re unsure of your next step, let our experienced family law attorneys guide you through the process with the insight, integrity, and advocacy you deserve.

Need help with a custody matter in Pennsylvania? Please contact us (215)366-7839.